81 this year, I'm a guy who's grateful for all the amazing things science does to keep me alive, in spite of my decisions and lifestyles.
My big life decision, today -
What will I do for the rest of my life?
Examining what I’d learned in my 80 years, some fortuitously, some tragically, was a wake-up call. It took me months to figure it out. I desperately wanted someone to help me clarify it, yet I couldn’t find anyone to simply listen to what I thought, just hear how I felt or try to understand what I wanted. Instead, they’d try to change my mind, do something that they knew how to do, or do things their way - not mine. So I did it myself. By doing that, I knew other people could do the same thing - and perhaps I could help them do it.
My surprising idea of helping other people help themselves manage big decisions is what I call ‘self-coaching’. Too late, I discovered that “coaching”, even other kinds of ‘self-coaching’, come in endless kinds and styles. Yet I persevere, to do what had become the answer to my big life question. Finally, fearfully and stubbornly, I launched my heart’s desire: Go for it! Self-Coaching.
One of the things that's helped me was the 2021 research and writing of Adrian R. Camilleri Ph.D., about how people make “Life’s Biggest Decisions”.
His conclusion: “Finally, there are some big life decisions that will reliably increase your life satisfaction. A common theme among them is that they involve taking control of your life and pouring yourself into a pursuit or project. The most powerful of these are deciding to follow a particular way of life, be it a philosophy or religion. It’s these kinds of decisions that bring greater meaning and, upon reflection, deeper satisfaction with how we have spent our limited time on Earth.”
I realized that 'helping others help themselves' was my new purpose in life. I was “pouring” myself into it and “deciding” [choosing] on a new way of life [a simple philosophy].
Of course his question "...how we have spent our limited time on Earth.” - hit home with a true sense of urgency. Then I realized that 'life's urgency' is not an end of life experience. Living the life each of us uniquely has available to us is an urgency for all of us, at anytime. That led me to the belief that ‘real life’ is the life we live in the present, dealing with what matters, right now. And that is the basis of Go for it! Self-Coaching: simply helping others to help themselves in dealing with anything that’s important to them right now. That's all real life can offer us. It’s an action process because life’s big decisions need to be faced, answered honestly and given life through our choices.
And it's never too late.
Life. It's personal. It's unique to each of us. It's lived best in pursuit of our 'heart's desire'. dp
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